Sunday, May 26, 2013
Pondering if what I spoke was actually what I meant... Have the words my mouth let out caused anxiety and insecurity to my loved one? Thinking about what I have planned for our future... I suddenly feel that sometimes when we plan it too frigidly, it will cause stressed to both parties. Why not just let everything flow through without boundaries? Just like a water flowing out from a river mouth... That would be more exciting and relaxing. Allow the water to go in whichever possible directions. This may induce more creativity and we will be able to dream wilder and further. Dream of the impossible. Have dreams that make us stronger, give us a sense of direction and possibilities. YES. This is more like what I wanted to deliver! Plans aside. Lets talk sense. Ask yourself this important question: What do I want to achieve in my life? or How I want my life to live like?
The answers to the question may give you clues on how you can achieve them...
My answers?? I want a beautiful house to live in with my adorable husband and children. I want to work happily without too much stress over money. I want a slow-paced life. Most importantly, I want to enjoy every moment I spent with my loved ones and best friends.
How do I move on from here?
- Watch my attitude towards loved ones.
- Plan slightly for my future, etc.
Work should never be the centre of our universe. Just like when I get married and have children... I don't want children to be the centre of my universe. We should always balance a few things at one time. Parents, siblings, bf/hushand, children, career, best friends and yourself! Of course they couldn't be evenly distributed. But, none of it should occupy a significantly big portion of your universe. It's unhealthy in a way. Focusing too much on yourself is selfish. Focusing too much on your child is selfish too! Selfish to yourself and your other loved ones. So BALANCE is important!
What if you are facing financial stress? You feel you are short of money to dream. Short of money to progress. Don't be stupid. If money hasn't been an issue before you graduated. So why is it an issue now?? After graduation, we got a job and rightfully speaking we should be having more money now. So what's the problem? The problem is... We are worrying unnecessarily. Some may say after graduation they have a loan to pay back. But actually the loan started since we borrowed from the bank on day 1 of university. The fact that we may feel more stressed after graduation is because the interest started and the bank letter stressed us... Also, we no longer have excuses to ask our parents to pay for our loans and expenses. Think of it in another way. Believe in yourself that you will stay employed at least for 10 years. You are committed to use these 10 years to return your school loan (perhaps I was wrong to rush you in repaying all the loan). If you slow all this down, you will realise you have enough money to dream and do other things. Do the things that you wanted. It may be to travel, buy nice clothes, buy nice house, etc. Remember, Don't end your life with your work. Work is just a mean of learning more, and earning money. That's all. Start thinking how you want to live your life.
Jia you to all!!!
8:32 AM
Sunday, September 30, 2012
在短短的一个星期里我做了很多事。。。帮我的睡房改造了。。。好期待听听小企鹅对我房间新设计的感想。。。不用想也知道他一定会很喜欢的。我把我们一起完成的小企鹅画挂上墙了。现在我的房间看起来根像是属于我一个人的。好想明天快一点到来。。然后就停在我和企鹅相处的时光。:)
5:45 PM
Wednesday, September 05, 2012
I feel much better every time I have a good dinner outside after my work. Life seems to pass slower that way as compared to going home straight after work. :)
11:20 PM
Friday, April 20, 2012
Am I in the mid 20s crisis? I thought that would only happen to adults who are 30s? Anyway, I seem to be excited and at the same time frightened about what's to come in the future. Standing at the age of 23, I will soon enter the workforce, very soon... (in about 2 months time?) I am not really worried about not being able to get a job, or worried about getting a job late. But, I am more worried about coping with the working life. I have seen many friends and family who struggled to maintain a healthy work-life balance. I guess if you are enjoying what you are doing at work... you are also creating life in it. That's also a kind of work-life balance right? What I meant was... the cause of unhealthy work-life is simply due to you being unhappy at work. Maybe when I really in the workforce, this opinion will change. haha! Alright, my mid 20s crisis does not only comprises problems of future career, but also future relationships and friendship. Will I still stay in contact with my school friends? Yesterday, I asked weyrun this question: "do you think we hall friends will still be in contact after graduation?" He said " Maybe less often, but of cos we will be in contact."A friendship, similar to a couple relationship, it takes effort to stay strong. Not to mention my primary school friends (b'cos it was too long ago!), just take my secondary school friends as example, we stayed in contact after we left secondary school (though less often) until about 2 years ago. When I came back from HK, i realised that my secondary school click did not make the initiative to contact me. Huijun and I realised this. We noted that we were always the ones who initiated the outings, etc. Sometimes we felt really tired to be always the organiser. In fact, it has been almost 1 year since I last met them. It is a disappointment! Luckily, huijun and I are still in contact. hehehe... On the contrary, sometimes you don't really need a lot of effort to keep friendship going. Two strong-standing clicks of mine- WHY & MAY are the best examples for the latter. Though we seldom meet, when we really meet, there are many things to talk about! That's the difference. We don't need much effort to have fun, enjoy ourselves and stay happy together. I hope that this will be the same for my hall friends. But I really doubt so... haha... It's alright! Quality friends are more important. Another issue will be relationship with my dear. Not that we are having problems in our relationship, in fact our relationship has improved tremendously over a year. I am just thinking into our future... the possible kip-cups that we might be facing such as living location, less time spent together, etc. after we graduated. And I think the most troubling issue is our marriage. That surely will not take place so soon. Not until we are both financially stable and really understand each other inside-out. Perhaps at least another 3 years? (though my ideal age to marry is 25) While watching the 9pm show, I always try to relate it to my own personal experience. I will try to put myself in their shoes and ponder. Then I came to realise that understanding, trust, honesty and accommodation are very important factors in a relationship. Easy to list them out but hard to adhere to these points! I will! And probably ask my dear to stick to them too. HAHAhaha... My dear has 2/4 of them lah... just need more of accommodation and trust... Less of "da nan ren" can already. haha!!! For myself, I think I need to work harder on all of them. :( more to go!
9:18 AM
Saturday, January 14, 2012
I had never love to fight, quarrel, or explain things which I feel that I didn't done wrong to someone who always insist his/her stand. That always make me become weak, cry baby and someone who cannot solve things properly. When I felt that I have been misunderstood, I always don't have to strength to defend my point. I would rather end off with... "alright, whatever you say..." or " emm.. yes.." B'cos agreeing to their standpoint is easier than arguing my inner voice to them. Especially so when I am already in a very terrible and painful (heart) state. Crying so badly yet the questioning kept flowing to you. I only wish the questioning will end fast so that I can stop crying soon. That's why I will always ask the person to stop the subject/ drop the subject/ enough of the subject... when I feel that my heart could no longer bear those heartbreaking conversations. I am disappointed. I thought you would have understood me after such a long period of harmony. Don't you know I have the personality who enjoy love and peace? Why make it so hard on me? Ok. Enough said. I need a break.
10:41 AM
Sunday, December 04, 2011
I am planting chilli and sunflower at home... Isn't it cool? If the chilli plant ever bear "fruits" and sunflower ever bloom... it would be my best christmas present :) According to the manual, chilli plants take about 3 mths to mature while sunflower takes 2.5months... I can't wait to see them grow up.
Chilli seeds planted on 30Nov 2011 by ME! Sunflower seeds planted on 1 Dec 2011 by Ah Wong!
10:49 PM
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
因为我的所作所为，我周围的亲人和朋友都对我有了不同的看法。我的朋友的确越来越少了很多。 心里一直有一个打不开的结。每天每天都在为同样的事情苦恼，始终却无法改变什么。反而似乎把事情变得根严重。说真的，我不知道我现在在为什么而活。人生没有目标就好像断了线的风筝，风把你吹到哪你就跟随到哪。。。同意别人的看法变成了我不知觉的习惯。 我似乎已经不能控制自己的行为了。心里想一但手却做二。好多次我都跟我自己说：“益玲，妈妈的年纪很大了。。。你不该在让她看你的脸色。做一个乖女儿让妈开心吧。”但每次我还是做不到。不要说和朋友无法好好勾通，就连我的父母，我多有困难表达自己。在这样下去，我会渐渐变成一个孤独的女人。天啊！救救我吧！
11:58 PM
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Wishing for the day when I have a million (or even 10 will do) things to say out.
6:05 PM
Monday, June 06, 2011
Firstly, I would like to congratulate my sister.
" I am glad that you have found a nice and warm nesting ground :) Hope you enjoy life more now with the added family members. I am sure life will be more exciting for you after 5 June 2011. Right?? haha... Take care, sister!"
9:23 AM
Monday, May 16, 2011
When you get in love with the right guy, you can only go deeper into it...
As each day passes, there are more incidents which make us understand better about each other. Though most of the times these incidents were negative, I feel that I begin to love this man more than any other previous days after every incident.
This is my first time seeing a man looking so hurt. I didn't mean to make him feel inferior about himself. But whenever I say things, things often turn out to be more nasty and hurtful (which I don't mean it). When I saw red blood vessels forming around his eyes, my heart really sank in. Totally at lost of what to do. So I tried to joke more around with him. and till now I still don't know if what I did helps... What would you do if a guy cry in front of you? For me, I would pretend I didn't see it. Because I guess man is very strong in ego. They won't admit that they are crying.
But deep in my heart, I really hope to tell him... "Lao gong, I love You. I will never despise you no matter what you do. You are just the one for me. And I really feel lucky to be with you."
pm: gosh... my personal blog has become a love diary already!! -.-
12:20 AM
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